


Ruined Friendship

by warpfactornonsense (ZJ_Timekeeper)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Pillow Talk, human phraseology, swift resolution, very mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZJ_Timekeeper/pseuds/warpfactornonsense
Summary: Jim makes a flippant remark about the transition of their relationship from friends to more-than-friends. Spock has some concerns about this.





	Ruined Friendship

Jim’s hair rasped against the pillowcase as he turned his head toward Spock, a harsh sound in the comparative quiet. Only their twin breaths, deeper and more labored than usual, could be heard over the distant hum of the warp drive.

A crooked smirk turned Jim’s face from sunny to amused. “I think it’s safe to say that we’ve ruined our friendship.”

It was easy not to react to this statement. After all, Spock was a Vulcan. Disappointment was an emotion, and it was second nature to keep such feelings under wraps. But the term “disappointment” didn’t seem to encompass the feeling that his insides were being run through a garbage compactor. Was Jim really insisting that their friendship was destroyed?

Spock breathed deeply in and out. In, out. Just before he’d agreed to go to bed with his captain, Spock had calculated that there was a 23.7% chance that Jim wanted to engage in a romantic relationship with him for the medium-to-long term. There was a 74.6% chance that Jim only wished for a handful of purely physical encounters with no romantic entanglements—it was, after all, what Jim _did_ with other beings. Never had Spock seen Jim engaged in anything beyond a casual affair, though that was at least in part due to the way things were for starship captains. Never in one place too long.

The remaining 0.7% was a margin for error, an unknown. But it had simply never occurred to Spock that, even at so slim a margin as 0.7%, Jim would suggest that they _end their friendship_ after a sexual encounter.

His performance couldn’t have been so poor as to be a basis for dissociation. Jim had exhibited every sign of enjoying himself. Furthermore, Jim had never once indicated an inclination toward an abrupt cessation of all social interaction immediately after sexual intercourse, however casual. The parting was always on good terms. Jim was also not one for social experimentation for its own sake. It was true that he had been with many different species, but Jim would not want to sleep with Spock simply to tick a box marked “Vulcan.”

So what had Spock done wrong?

Jim’s voice was quiet in the darkness. “You’re very quiet. Are you all right?”

Spock did not immediately respond. Whether or not he was “all right” depended on the meaning of the statement regarding a ruined friendship. If Jim really meant this—and Spock still wasn’t sure how he could—it meant that Spock’s lone ally, the one person upon whom he could always rely for unconditional acceptance, was no longer to be counted on.

Perhaps this was nothing more than a nonsensical human turn of phrase. Doctor McCoy was so very fond of such sayings. Generally, Spock could puzzle these out with little effort. But the stakes were lower with the doctor. Spock had no interest in developing a close relationship with McCoy in the same way he intended with Jim.

“Spock, are you all right?”

Perhaps meditation was in order. That could usually set him straight. And he did have access to multiple dictionaries and phrase books. Surely, there would be something in one of them about sex ruining friendships.

Or he could simply _ask_.

Spock did not particularly care for this idea. Asking meant giving away how deeply he felt about this, and though Jim would likely encourage any airing of Spock’s feelings—typical emotional human behavior—Spock had spent his whole life firmly suppressing them. So plainly spilling his emotions, his most private thoughts, was an abhorrent concept. Only a bondmate should be privy to that part of him, for he would trust no one else with it.

And while it was conceivable that Jim might one day... well, that was something best left in the realm of possibility for the time being. Until he had evidence that Jim was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him, Spock would remain quiet about the depth of his desire. He would share what Jim was willing to give, and would remain content with that.

“I must meditate.” Spock sat up in bed. “Our time together this evening was satisfactory.”

There followed a pause as Jim sat up beside him. “I don’t want to keep you from doing something important and necessary, but is there anything you want to talk to me about first? You don’t seem... Was this not a good idea?”

“Negative, Captain.” Spock carefully swung his legs from under the covers. The floor of the cabin was chilly beneath his bare feet after that toasty warmth of the duvet.

“ _Negative,_ it wasn’t a good idea, or _negative,_ you don’t want to talk about it?”

While Spock would not lie, he would stretch the facts a bit. “There is nothing which merits immediate discussion, Captain.” Spock busied himself with locating his discarded clothes. There was his thermal undershirt, but where were his socks?

A gusting sigh sounded, followed by the ruffle of fingers sliding through hair. “Spock, please don’t call me ‘captain’ after we’ve just had sex.” A louder rustling was followed by a soft groan as Jim levered himself out of bed—well, that was the likeliest explanation. Spock wasn’t about to turn around to see for himself. “Spock, for my own edification, if nothing else, could you please tell me what you’re thinking? Did I do something wrong?”

Spock blinked. If Jim believed himself to potentially be in the wrong, then “hyperbole” or “idiom” were sounding highly plausible for the meaning of “ruined friendship.” Spock’s gaze narrowed as he considered this. A hand rested on Spock’s elbow, and he twitched at the contact on his bare skin. He nearly dropped his blue uniform shirt as a maelstrom of confusion, fear, and rapidly fading joy flooded into him. Meditation was certainly in order if he couldn’t even block out Jim’s emotions.

“Please, Spock. If I’ve done something wrong, I’d like to know what, so I don’t do it again. After that, you can go meditate, if you need to. Please.”

At last, Spock turned to meet those hazel eyes, currently narrowed as they scrutinized him, searching for any clue as to his thoughts.

The intensity of Jim’s emotions, still crashing over him like stormy waves, left Spock little room for doubt: whether or not Jim had intentions for a long-term romantic relationship, he certainly didn’t take this lightly. Spock had the grace to shift his weight ruefully from one foot to the other. “You indicated that we had ruined our friendship.” He opened his mouth to continue, but Jim’s expression of realization stopped him.

“Oh, well...” Jim gave an uneasy laugh. “I’m sure you would’ve figured it out quickly, but I... just meant that... we’ve moved from friendship to... romance. That’s all.”

“And for humans, the two are incompatible?” Spock raised an eyebrow. “That seems contradictory and illogical.” At least Jim had indicated that he did, in fact, want something more than casual physicality. 

Jim smiled and rubbed the hand from Spock’s elbow to his bicep. “It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, now that I really think about it. I never gave it any thought before.”

“I would not have any romantic or sexual encounters with you were they to negate or outweigh our friendship, Jim.” Spock’s voice was quiet. “It is... most important to me.”

“It is to me, too,” Jim whispered, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to the corner of Spock’s lips. “I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer. I didn’t really think about how inane that was.”

Spock nodded his acceptance of the apology, then realized that he was probably expected to say something in return. But as he opened his mouth to speak, Jim continued.

“I’ll think more about what I’m saying if you also agree to say what you’re thinking. I can’t have our friendship _actually_ ruined by a misunderstanding.” His grin was bright again, banishing the clouds from Spock’s thoughts with the crooked tilt to his lips.

“I had intended to research the statement,” he said stiffly.

“I don’t doubt it. Far be it from me to accuse you of being knowingly uninformed.” Jim’s smile only grew sunnier, and Spock flourished under its warmth. “It would’ve been easier to ask me what I meant, though.”

“Unlike Dr. McCoy’s countless turns of phrase,” Spock said, raising his eyebrow again, “your words did not carry an obvious metaphorical meaning.” At Jim’s look of admonition—Spock really should’ve known better than to hide his insecurity behind the easiest excuse at hand—he hastened to continue. “However, I will endeavor to ask immediately in future.”

That smile returned as he stepped back toward the sleeping alcove. “Good. And for the record, Spock, you don’t have to worry about how serious I am about this. I’m in this. One hundred percent. So long as you want me around.”

Spock found it was much easier to mask negative emotions like disappointment than positive feelings like elation.

Jim, already halfway under the covers, looked up at Spock and grinned. Spock was sure he, too, was smiling. He couldn’t quite bring himself to suppress it. Then again, perhaps that wasn’t the worst thing. He was alone with Jim, who might one day, just maybe, contemplate bonding with him. But such musings could wait. This was only their first night together, after all.

“Want to come back to bed? I promise to keep to my side.”

Spock pulled back his side of the covers and slid in beside Jim. “That would not be the most logical course of action.”

“Oh?”

“The human brain produces the chemical oxytocin when one is in close physical contact with a partner during the action known as ‘cuddling.’ This chemical is known to be beneficial to most humans engaged in relationships. This would only serve to strengthen the romantic relationship we currently have—”

Jim laughed out loud. “Are you arguing that cuddling is logical?”

“I believe that is what I said.”

“Come here, you.” And Jim pulled him into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first Star Trek prose work. Hope I did okayish, at least! Find me on [tumblr](http://warpfactornonsense.tumblr.com) for more ST shenanigans.


End file.
